Where Is Tammi Menendez Now? Inside The Life of Erik Menendez’s Wife

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  • Post last modified:June 14, 2023
Where Is Tammi Menendez Now? Inside The Life of Erik Menendez’s Wife
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Tammi Menendez aka Tammi Ruth Saccoman is the wife of the notorious Erik Menendez of the Menendez brothers who killed their own parents in Aug 1989. Interestingly, Tammi started her relationship with Erik when he was sentenced to life imprisonment with no parole. She even went on writing a book trying to best answer the dynamic of her and her prisoner husband’s life.

So why Tammi chose to have a difficult courtship? Let’s find out about her love life and more.

Key Takeaways

  • Tammi Menendez married Erik Menendez after he was sentenced to a lifetime in prison for murdering his parents.
  • Tammi has never got a chance to be intimate with her husband although she gets time to meet her husband in the prison frequently.
  • She thinks her husband and his brother killed their parents because of the situation, so they should be allowed parole.
  • She has been married to Erik for over two decades but she doesn’t have any kids with him obviously.

Tammi Menendez Is Of Dutch Descent 

Tammi was born in the early 1960s. Although it is known that she was born in October, her exact birthday is still unknown. Regarding her parents, Tammi has never revealed their identity publicly.

Tammi Menendez is originally from Holland who is famous for her relationship with one of the Menendez brothers
Tammi Menendez has roots in Holland

Obviously enough, the details with respect to her life prior to having a relationship with Erik are still a mystery. However, in her book, Tammi has written that her native country is Holland. She presumably has an early connection to Keukenhof. Although it is unclear if she, herself was born in the country or if it was just her parents.

Her Husband, Erik Menendez, And Brother-In-Law, Lyle Menendez Are Notorious Convicts 

Tammi’s husband Erik and his brother Lyle Menendez killed their parents, Kitty and Jose Menendez in their Beverly Hills mansion on 20th August 1989. In two separate trials, both brothers explained they killed their parents in self-defense. They said their father was sexually abusive and feared that he would kill them. The jury, however, didn‘t buy it.

Tammi Menendez's husband and his brother said their father sexually abused them and feared that he would kill them.
Erik Menendez and his brother, Lyle Menendez killed their parents, Kitty and Jose Menendez in their Beverly Hills mansion

Menendez’s husband Eric and her brother-in-law, Lyle Menendez received a life sentence in 1996 for the double murder. First, the brothers served their sentences separately for more than two decades. They reunited at the Richard J. Donovan Correctional Facility in California in 2018.

What Could Be the Actual Reason for the Murder?

Prosecutors believed that the Menendez brothers’ main motivation to kill their own parents was greed. Kitty and Jose’s friend Karen Ferrell one of the prosecutors explained that Lyle and Erik were scared of being written out of their parents’ will. Before their death, Jose was a prominent Hollywood producer. He and his wife had an estimated net worth of $14 million.

Karen also described a moment when Kitty was at the family computer updating her will and speaking openly about removing her sons’ names. She reported Kitty saying, ‘I don’t care. They know I’m not gonna give them any money.

Tammi Menendez Married Erik Menendez In Prison

Menendez married her convicted husband Erik on 12th June 1999 in the waiting room of Folsom State Prison.

Tammi and Erik married on 12 June 1999. They do not have children.
Tammi married her convicted husband Erik in the waiting room of Folsom State Prison

She said the ceremony was wonderful until she had to leave. Tammi added it was a very lonely night. Few in Tammi’s family understood her decision to marry a convicted murderer. She told NBC that her mom was supportive of her decision.

Are They Still Married? 

When reported in 2005, Tammi said she would visit Erik regularly in prison but said she hated how the guards treat her like a convict. In her book, They Said We’d Never Make It, Tammi writes being married to Erik is a hard and painful life. She adds it’s mostly because of the prison, “this pride-swallowing place.” Erik’s spouse explains it takes almost an hour or more just to get in there. She also complains about how the guards sometimes treat her like an inmate, without any respect.

What Tammi Menendez Says About Her Convicted Murderer Husband?

While Tammi acknowledged that Erik did something wrong in killing his parents, she also believes that his parent’s actions drove Erik and Lyle to murder them. The Dutch native said she knows her husband, his heart, his soul. She also said she had knowledge of what happened that night and did understand why the Menendez brothers committed the crime. Tammi then said that within everybody, put in certain circumstances, “you will be able to kill somebody.”

Do Tammi And Erik Have Children?

Erik and Tammi don’t have children of their own. Tammi though does have a daughter from her previous relationship. Her former husband, Chuck killed himself. Allegedly, she had one more daughter from her other relationship.

Tammi and her daughter, Talia visit Erik every weekend. Her daughter also formed a close bond with her mother’s new husband. She even refers to him as ‘Earth Dad.’

Why Did Her Ex-Husband Commit Suicide?

In 1996, Tammi discovered that her ex-husband had been having a three-year sexual relationship with her other daughter. She was Chuck’s stepdaughter. The abuse had started when her girl was 15.

Chuck turned himself in to the police but two days later killed himself. This left Tammi bereft and needing to care for her and Chuck’s then-9-month-old daughter, Talia.

Tammi Menendez Was Dating A Doctor When She First Knew About Erik 

After Chuck’s death, Tammi came into a comfortable inheritance from her husband. She had been planning to move to Georgia with Talia. She had also started dating a doctor.

In the meantime, she had also been writing to Erik. When the court ordered the police to move Erik to Folsom State Prison, he invited Tammi. So, she flew out to Erik in Aug 1997.

Upon meeting, Erik persuaded her to be closer to him. Tammi eventually moved to Sacramento and began traveling as many as four times a week to the prison for visits.

How Tammi And Erik Began Their Relationship 

Erik‘s wife, Tammi admitted she began feeling for him after watching his first trial on television. She had sent him a letter during his hearing no 2. The mother of two says she had no idea of what he was going through emotionally but wanted to let him know that there were people out there who empathized.

To her surprise, the New York-born inmate responded to her. The exchange of letters later morphed into phone calls, and eventually, Tammi visited Erik in prison. Their first meeting wasn’t romantic, but as the visits continued, they developed feelings toward each other. As mentioned, Tammi even relocated to California from Minnesota just to be closer to Menendez.

Tammi developed relationship with Erik while visiting him in prison.
Tammi and Erik do not have the provision of conjugal visits

Eventually, Erik proposed to her during one of her visits in April 1998. He proposed to her with a platinum diamond ring.

The couple has been married for over two decades now. Though they have never spent time with each other except for prison visiting time. They‘ve appealed to the courts to overturn her husband and brother-in-law’s sentences, but the officials haven’t been that lenient.

How Does Their Marriage Work

Although the court hasn’t permitted Erik and Tammi’s conjugal visits, they do get to share brief moments of intimacy. In 2005, the prisoner’s wife admitted to People that not having sex in her life is difficult. But she said it was not a problem for her. In her book, Tammi writes how she and Erik get to have their moments of intimacy.

She explains she reaches up and slips her hand around his neck. She writes she kisses him like she’s never kissed him before. After a while, the guard taps on the microphone.

Is There A Chance Of Tammi Meeting Her Prisoner Husband Forever 

There has been no movement in their case. And as per the reports, it is unlikely that the Menendez brothers will ever leave prison. However, in recent times, there has been quite a movement on sites like TikTok, Facebook, and Insta all raising movement to lessen of free Tammi’s husband and her brother-in-law.

Where Is Tammi Menendez Now?

There haven’t been many updates concerning the Menendez brother and neither Tammi. Having said that, on April 4, 2018, Lyle was shifted to the same housing unit as Erik at the Richard J Donovan Correctional Facility in San Diego County. The brothers reunited for the first time after their sentence.

Other Facts

Her story was adapted into a documentary called Mrs. Menendez. Filmmakers Nancy Saslow, an Emmy and a Peabody Award winner, directed the film, and Carolyn Carmines produced it.


Narayan Shankar, who goes by the name David, is a seasoned writer and editor, who has a passion for covering the entertainment industry. He has years of experience writing content, especially in the entertainment niche. He is currently an editor and writer for celebsuburb.com along with other websites under our organization named Pandora Group of Companies.